


Loud and Clear

by BewareTheIdes15



Series: Knotting!AU [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Frottage, Knotting, M/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-10
Updated: 2012-03-10
Packaged: 2017-11-01 17:41:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/359531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BewareTheIdes15/pseuds/BewareTheIdes15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Honest and up front here? Jensen's never really understood his friends who have gotten all gooey over their mates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loud and Clear

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently this verse has decided to be a trilogy. IDEK. 
> 
> Special thanks to etsumilau on LJ for giving me the kick in the pants I needed to finish this.

Jensen stares down at the little piece of cardstock Jared's stabbing the air between them to death with. Looks up and down again because clearly he's missing something here. He did not just spend five and a half hours pacing around his apartment - because going to the doctor with Jared would be creepy and incorrectly imply things about their relationship and Jared refused to tell him where the doctor's office was - waiting to find out the results of Jared's physical just to have a fucking business card shoved at him by his best friend who _won't even look him in the eye_.

“They want you to come in and take a blood test,” Jared tells the baseboards, actually - swear to God - scuffing his foot on the ground and wiggling the card again. “I mean, you don't have to, I'm not infectious or anything, there just aren't a lot of omegas out there so they like to get all the information they can whenever there's an anomaly.”

He's studiously staring around the little bit of the living room that can be seen from the front door - since he apparently forgot that Jensen holding the door wide open and stepping back was his cue to get the fuck in here - and Jensen decorated the place, ok, he knows it is not that fascinating. So maybe he's a little rougher than strictly necessary when he snatches the card - just try and tell him not to come to the next appointment - and drags Jared bodily inside. “Talk to me. What happened?”

“Nothing," Jared says, hands up in the air defensively. "They said I'm- I'm fine. I'm normal." He's probably the only person Jensen's ever met who could make that sound like a death sentence. "They couldn't find anything unusual on any of the tests.”

There’s too much of him for the ball he tries to curl into on the arm of the couch, picking idly at the stitching with a thumbnail. He looks so forlorn Jensen aches with it and is, at the same time, deeply pissed off about it because he's not really sure what the hell is wrong and how the hell is he supposed to fix it if he doesn’t know what _it_ is?

“So they want _me_ to come in and take some?” It starts out as an accusation and peters off somewhere in the neighborhood of confused.

Jared jabs at the cushion with his thumb, cheeks coloring up a little bit as he mumbles, “I guess sometimes it happens like that. People get knocked into their cycle when they're around somebody a lot. It's like documented or something, I don't know.”

“When you're around somebody a lot? That's the best they've got? _Human interaction?_ ” Getting snippy with Jared isn't fair. Jared's not the one who's a complete, epic failure at the medical profession. But seriously, what the fuck? A chimpanzee with a wifi connection could have come up with a better answer than that.

“They-“ Jared's face is bubble-gum pink by now, all adorable and warm looking and Jensen is not focusing on that because he is busy being indignant on Jared's behalf. “Jesus, Jensen, c'mon.”

“What?” he pushes, “They what?” He'd feel bad about it except Jared hardly functions when left to his own devices to cope with shit. He can barely dress himself and he forgets to eat half the time without somebody around to remind him and don't even get Jensen started on the time Jared tried to deal with the fuse box. He _needs_ someone to look after him but he's too damn stubborn to admit it so sometimes Jensen has to bully him into it just a little for his own good. As a friend.

Jared sighs and scrunches his eyes closed, spills it all out so fast Jensen has to struggle to make out the words. “They have some theory about genetic compatibility or pack instincts or something. That- that people get on cycle with people they're close to to up the chances of mating or whatever and I told them about you and the timing of your cycle and they- they _thoughtmaybeyoujump-startedmine_ and can we stop talking about this now, please?”

Only through the exertion of incredible effort and the fear of scaring Jared off that Jensen doesn't do anything embarrassing like hopping up and down or throwing confetti. It would be completely justified though, considering Jared basically just said that his doctors think that his body wants to jump Jensen’s bones. And ok, fine, so Jensen's body wants him to knock up every decent-looking beta he comes across. Sometimes bodies are stupid and it doesn't mean Jared's biologically _obligated_ to date him. Still, out of all the people Jared's ever been around, his libido decided to get all feisty over Jensen.

Maybe. It's a possibility anyway. Pretty complimentary regardless.

“Yeah sure,” Jensen agrees, completely not spazzing out like a pubescent girl at a Justin Bieber concert. Only the tiniest bit breathless. “You want a beer?”

Jared sags with relief, head tipped back on a long, throat-baring line. “God yes, please.”

It only takes Jensen a couple of extra seconds to remember what that was an answer to.

He spends a little longer with his head stuck in the fridge than strictly necessary, trying to get himself back on the 'caring and sharing' track instead of the 'molest your friend on the couch' one. Jared does the most messed-up things to his head.

Honest and up front here? Jensen's never really understood his friends who have gotten all gooey over their mates. Love sure, he gets that, Jensen's been there once or twice but he's never felt that thing that turns alphas into doe-eyed idiots. For a while he'd actually thought there might be something wrong with him, some kind of incredibly mild sociopathy or something that kept him from connecting to the people he slept with properly. A guy can only go through so much of his life hearing 'when you find them, you'll just know' and then never actually _knowing_ without starting to wonder.

Up until Jared stumbled his giant, gawky, bizarre way into Jensen's life that is. Now he's goo central and he doesn't even know how it happened. Chris has been giving him shit about it for months. Of course, all Jensen has to do is remind Chris of that little nesting phase he went through when he and Steve first got together and he baked his way through half the Southern Living cookbook. That usually shuts him up pretty quick.

Figuring it out for himself was one thing and getting Jared into any kind of state to possibly do something about it is entirely another. Jared clearly doesn't want to talk about his newfound sexuality and even if he did, Jensen might not be the best qualified person for the job, considering his numerous personal stakes in the proceedings.

Like he's ever going to be able to forget the way Jared smelled, how he felt, hot and desperate, writhing back against Jensen, all that slick soaking through until Jensen's dick was drenched in it. How his skin tasted, how his breath stuttered with candy-sweet, helpless noises, how his hole felt, sucking at the webbing of Jensen’s fingers after he begged _please, Jensen, I need- please_ to have something to clutch around, to take away that empty ache. Fuck, Jensen deserves goddamn sainthood for not giving in and fucking Jared until he couldn't see straight. His dick is actually sore from all the jacking off he's been doing.

Jared also clearly _needs_ to talk about what he’s going through, though, and if not with Jensen, then who? It's not like Jared has this overwhelming wealth of friends - not because he's not likeable and charming and irre-fucking-sistable, but because he's so shy it's physically painful to watch. Hitting his cycle is a big deal with a lot of issues attached to it. Hell, Jensen had freaked out the first time he went through rut and he'd been expecting the damn thing. Jared went 24 years without so much as a spark and all of a sudden he can knot _and_ get wet? No wonder he’s been walking around like he just watched somebody execute his reason to live; he's got a whole new body to adjust to.

This, well this is something he definitely needs a friend for. A real friend and not just somebody who wants to drag him to bed and love-maul him within an inch of his life.

And if it just happens to turn into an ideal opening for that little talk - the 'oh please, oh please, oh please, let me fuck you so good you're ruined for all other men and have to spend the rest of your life with me… after a suitable period of dating because you're special and wonderful and deserve to be treated that way' one - then so be it.

Jensen really, really wants to have that talk. Almost as much as he's completely scared to death by it. Because he can't lose Jared. Just the vague consideration of it makes his chest clench up like he's never going to draw a full breath again.

Popping the caps off, Jensen takes a long, fortifying gulp of his beer before heading back into the living room to find Jared right where he left him, looking just as miserably conflicted.

He doesn't mean to say, “So, other than that, everything's fine though?” because, all evidence to the contrary, Jensen's actually a pretty smooth guy most of the time. Not usually with _Jared_ , but still.

Jared shoots him a look that would be a glare if there was some more energy behind it. “Jensen.”

“I'm just making sure!”

An annoyed snort doesn't keep Jared from taking the proffered beer, finger toying with the loose edge of the label. “Yes, everything's fine. I got some special meds." He stutters on nothing, face contorting. " _Birth control_. Fuck, this is so weird.”

Jensen ignores the way the words ‘birth control’ in Jared’s voice makes his cock fatten up and twists his stomach into decorative knots.

“Hey, it's ok,” he says in lieu of ‘please have my babies’ and wraps his condensation cool hand around the back of Jared’s overheated neck.

He's not really sure if Jared realizes how responsive he is to touch, sort of afraid he might get self-conscious about it if it was pointed out. That doesn't make it any less satisfying to pull Jared's head in against his chest and feel his breathing slow down as the tension in him drains away just from Jensen's fingers running through his hair.

There's a lot he can lay on Jared being Mr. No-action for literally his entire life up until six days ago, but it still stuns him that Jared's never realized this is not exactly normal friend touching. At the same time that he loves it and shamelessly takes advantage of it - Jared benefits from it even if he doesn't realize he's being soothed so that makes it mostly ok, right? - it gets his hackles up to think that anybody else might have treated Jared this way too. If he wasn't intimately familiar with Jared's entire social roster it might be more than a paranoid worry.

“I totally should have come with you,” he chides without heat, cheek pressed to the top of Jared's head. Goo central, seriously.

Jared huffs something almost like a laugh but he grumbles, “Maybe,” making a fist in the back of Jensen's shirt to pull him closer.

***

"Is it wrong to like Rice Krispies better than generic Puffed Rice Cereal?" Jensen asks, looking back and forth between the boxes. Yes, he's almost thirty. Yes, he buys Rice Krispies. All the adult cereals are made of bran and fiber and a gaping vacuum of suck.

"If by wrong you mean 'exactly what the cereal conglomerates want', then yes." Jared sounds distracted through the phone, probably busy searching for that one most perfect of tomatoes in the pile of completely serviceable ones. He's so anal retentive about his produce.

"Man, don't get your conglomerates mixed in with my cereal," Jensen gripes, tossing the brand name into the cart anyway, cell phone jammed uncomfortably between his shoulder and cheek.

"You prefer the idea that there are tiny elfin men involved with your cereal?" Plastic crinkles across the line which means there might be a chance that they'll actually make it out of the grocery store sometime today. Shopping together was supposed the streamline this whole process and yet it inevitably ends up taking twice as long as when Jensen does it on his own. He still can't really bring himself to mind.

"Magic trumps evil corporations any day of the week." The cart bangs into the end-cap a little when the wonky back wheel turns too sharply as he rounds into the cooler aisle. "Even black magic."

"Pretty sure it's the same thing, actually." He can hear Jared smiling and has to actively school his expression down out of a grin in return; they're in public here, some basic level of masculine dignity is called for. "Beer aisle?"

"You know me so well."

"Be right there."

Jensen masterfully resists making Jared stay on the phone with him until he's made the trek across the store. How the hell is it that he's the alpha in this not-exactly-a-relationship and also, somehow, the beta? Sure Jared's sort of an alpha too, but if either of them should be playing the 'no you hang up first' game then it ought to be Jared. It's gotta have something to do with how tall he is. If Jensen was built like a tree Jared would totally be the one all fluttery and weak-kneed.

"Jensen?"

The voice startles him out of - damnit - grinning goofily at the shelves of beer and he turns around to meet a bright, sweet smile.

"Cindy! Hey!"

The hand-basket brimming with vegetables she has crooked in one elbow hip-checks him as he steps in to give her a hug, gets a strong squeeze and another one of those smiles in return. She looks good, dark hair falling around her face just so, that effortless, casual kind of pretty that attracted him in the first place.

They'd dated for a while, several years back, but ended up drifting apart. He'd always sort of regretted that they hadn't stayed in touch, she was a great girl and they probably would have been better together without all of the sex in the way, but he's never been one of those people who's particularly good at staying friends with an ex.

"How are you?" they say almost at the same time, laugh slightly uncomfortably as they both back down.

She gives in first and answers, "I'm really well," head tipped to the side, scrutinizing like she always has, like it's more than just small talk when she asks, "And you?"

"Good, good. I'm good," Jensen says, super-cool. Cindy's always had that 'mom' thing where it's like she can look right into his soul. It never fails to make Jensen feel like he's about to get grounded without even knowing what he did.

"Good," she laughs again, indulgently, "I'm glad." Her attention skips like a flat stone on water, over Jensen's shoulder, up up and up and that's the moment Jensen clues in on the presence behind him.

Jared's floundering in the no man's land between close enough to participate in the conversation and far enough away to look like he's not interested in it. Jensen's fingers clench at his sides to repress the urge to pet him like a lost puppy.

Instead he reaches out and beckons Jared in closer, latching onto his wrist when he reluctantly draws near enough. "Hey man, this is Cindy," he nods, easing back the extra few inches it takes to have the curve of his shoulder resting against Jared's chest. Jared tends to be kind of shy around new people but Jensen's found he does better if he's got a buffer to hide behind.

Jared gives an incredibly quiet, "Hi," and a half wave with the bag of potatoes he's got in his right hand.

"Cindy, this is Jared, m-" Jensen bites down on the 'my' that wanted to rattle free because he has no clue what to follow it with. ‘Friend’ is obvious, ‘tenant’ seems weird since they're obviously here shopping together. Anything else would be a product of his own lovesick imagination. So yeah, just 'm-'.

And of course Cindy catches it - always was way too talented at that for Jensen’s own good. She gives Jensen a look over it that he can't quite decipher and another one for Jared that's entirely too obvious - pity.

Which is just so completely unfair! Ok, sure, Jensen's had significantly fewer real relationships than he’s had friends with benefits but he's never treated any of his betas badly. Some of them may have gotten the wrong idea about the situation but that doesn't mean... And that's not even the point. The point is he's not sleeping with Jared and if he _was_ then it sure as hell would be a real relationship and if it _wasn't_ then he definitely wouldn't be leading him on by shopping for food with the guy.

Jensen's maybe just a little more upset in his head than he has an actual right to be. But the whole thing has made Jared go tense against his spine when the afternoon had been going so well and it hacks him off.

He can't' work up the enthusiasm to do more than nod distractedly when Cindy picks up on the weirdness radiating off of them and says, "We should catch up sometime soon," and starts backing away.

The second she disappears around the corner, Jared tugs his wrist free, plunking his produce bags into the cart. The tomatoes hit bottom hard enough that they're bound to have squishy, bar-shaped bruises. Funny, Jensen's stomach knows just how that feels.

***

Jared barely talks to him the rest of the day, constantly pulling away, refusing to answer when Jensen asks what's wrong, telling him not to follow when he stomps upstairs before the sun even goes down. Like he just completely forgot about their stir-fry-and-a-movie plans.

It doesn't take a genius to work out that it was something about running into Cindy, Jensen's just not exactly sure what. Maybe Jared picked up on the aborted almost-claim on him and got offended. People are bound to assume things, an alpha and an omega out hanging around, sharing space like they do. Cindy hadn't left much room to wonder what she thought their relationship was. And Jared's always been really sensitive about that kind of thing - Jensen doesn't begrudge it, he'd be touchy too if everybody treated him like half a person his whole life - so that would sort of make sense. It's kind of unfair of him to take it out on Jensen though.

Of course, it could just be that Jared was interested in Cindy and Jensen accidentally cockblocked him without realizing it. They've never really talked about what kind of person Jared might be into, never had a reason to before last week, but it could be that Cindy’s his type. Jensen's not exactly in love with the idea - makes him feel like fire ants are building a colony in his chest cavity, in point of fact - but it's a possibility.

The only other option he's come up with, the one that hits him even harder than the thought of Jared being into Cindy, is that Jared not bringing up that talk Jensen has said they should have has been his way of letting Jensen down easy and he's mad because Jensen's little Freudian slip means he's not getting the point. Bitter bile creeps up the back of his throat every time he lets his mind go there, but that doesn't make it any less real.

Jensen's good looking, generally considered a decent guy, has never had too hard a time finding somebody to keep his bed warm, but his record's hardly perfect. There have certainly been people, male and female, who were immune to his charms. What the hell that means for them if Jared's one of those people he doesn't know beyond the fact that Jensen knows with a kind of gut-wrenched, suffocating certainty that he'll do whatever it takes to keep Jared in his life. Even if it means never having him the way he wants to.

The knock on the front door startles him, mainly because it hammers home the realization that he's been sitting on his couch in the dark for something like four hours.

He doesn't say anything when it's Jared standing on the other side, mainly because there's nothing to say. Jared already looks like he wants to crawl into a hole and die and Jensen can't come up with words that wouldn't risk making it worse so he just steps back and lets Jared walk in.

A white t-shirt is stretched thin enough across Jared’s chest that Jensen can just see the outline of his nipples. Paired pajama pants that just barely skim his ankles even though they're already riding the line of impropriety with how low they sit on his hips, it’s almost so pornographic that Jensen would think it was a tease. Except he honestly doubts the thought of dressing up sexy would even cross Jared's mind, let alone that he'd know how to pull it off if it did.

“Sorry I woke you,” Jared says so quiet they're barely words. He flinches when Jensen automatically goes to lay a palm on the small of his back.

Playing off the lurch of his heart as best he can, Jensen shrugs, letting his hand fall away from the tense line of Jared's body. He's suddenly glad he never changed out of his jeans - the pockets at least give him something to do with his hands. “Wasn't sleeping.”

No point in hiding it, not like it isn’t obvious anyway. He hasn't slept much period since Jared's heat ended and he didn't have an excuse to curl up in bed with him anymore. Tonight's worse than that, though, the whole evening playing out in snippy, sullen flashes. He's never actually seen Jared mad before, not really, and certainly never at him. He doesn't know what to make of it or what to do about it that's not just going to blow up in his face so he's just been sitting here, trying and failing not to think about the ball of barbed wire that appears in his throat every time that hurt look on Jared's face pops into his head.

Jared meanders aimlessly to the middle of the living room, studying the floor for so long Jensen's lungs start to itch from the breath he's holding before he finally rounds on Jensen. "Did you tell her about me?"

Out of all the things he'd considered, that's the last thing he expected Jared to say. "Who? What?"

"Cindy, from the grocery store."

"No. I just ran into her. We'd only been talking for like thirty seconds when you showed up. What would I tell her about anyway?"

Jared gives him a deadly serious look. Jensen’s pretty sure he hasn’t seen that one since the first time he got edgy-desperate enough in his stupid, hopeless crush to ask Jared to hang out with him.

"Hey, whoa, that's not my business to tell."

For a second there he swears he can actually hear Jared's teeth grinding. "You mean like how you told Danni and Misha and Chris and-"

"Only because I didn't want them to say something about it and make you uncomfortable!" For what it's worth, Jensen had actually felt really bad about doing it like that, but Jared's so damn touchy about it he wasn't sure not warning them in advance about Jared being an omega wouldn't have been worse. "I wasn't even planning to introduce you to her!"

Jensen's almost sure that was supposed to be a sound defense but Jared's face twists angrily.

"Why? I don't even warrant an introduction to one of your fucking girlfriends?" The venom in it knocks Jensen back - he has never even imagined Jared could use that tone of voice, let alone direct it at him - and then kicks him right into alpha overdrive.

"Because I haven't talked to her in two years! It was completely out of the blue! And what the fuck do you mean my fucking girlfriends?"

Something about it dials Jared back, more surly than furious when he says, "Nothing!" He makes a move like he's going to go for the door again, but fuck that shit, Jensen is done having snippets of an actual conversation about whatever the hell is up with Jared.

"Bullshit." Getting all up in his space may not be the best plan considering Jared's pretty massive and built like a house, but hey, no risk, no reward.

And what a reward it is because Jared jerks away from him again like he's been burned and it sizzles through Jensen like a physical blow, way worse than any punch Jared could have thrown. His face is crumpling and his hands are driving maniacally through his hair. He's tugging at it, winding circles around Jensen's furniture like a crazy person and whether Jared likes it or not, Jensen has to do something or he's going to work himself up into a full blown anxiety attack.

Jared's skin is hot where Jensen's hand rests on his hip, want rushing through him in a wave of ache as he grips and makes Jared hold still. Like a puppet with the strings cut, Jared just deflates, slumping in so that Jensen has to put his arms around him and pull him close or watch him hit the floor.

"I don't... I don't know. I don't even know what I'm mad about! I just, I-" his breath his coming out in little hiccups, not quite crying but close enough to it that Jensen's throat wants to choke up in sympathy. "Everything used to make sense before and now it's all messed up. I don't want to feel like this. Why do I feel like this?"

The snags Jared has knotted his hair into nip at Jensen’s fingers, nothing but instinct to go on to try and soothe the frantic tension he can feels in every line of Jared’s body. "What do you feel like?"

“I- I think-" Jared buries his face against the side of Jensen's head, barely whispering when he finishes, "I think I got jealous. Of her. Over you."

Jensen's heart does something strange. He can't decide if it skipped a beat or just rolled over and played dead there for a second. Whatever it was, it jumped right back into action, double-timing it against his ribcage until he's sure Jared would be able to feel it if his own wasn’t pattering just as fast.

All he does is hang on harder as if he thinks a fucking tow truck could pry Jensen off of him right now. "I don't know what I'm doing. I don't even know who I am anymore.”

And Jensen feels bad, really, he does. Even thinking about Jared hurting and confused makes him feel nauseous but the elated rush still thundering through his veins drags the feeling under. He's trying to keep it reigned in but probably mostly failing with how breathless he sounds when he turns his head against Jared's neck and breathes, “I know, baby. I wish I knew how to make it better.”

Jared's fingers flex at his ribs, holding him in place with all that lean strength. Jensen has to talk himself down from the ledge of an excited noise.

“I'm still not a baby,” Jared grumbles, rubbing his cheek against Jensen's hair.

The smile in Jensen voice definitely isn't disguised when he says, “I know,” and he doesn’t give a flying fuck. Jared _likes_ him! He thinks. He’s pretty sure that’s where that was going. Any way around, he’s fucking delighted.

“Do you think it's true. About the genetic compatibility and all?” Jared's little finger is stroking at the soft skin at the nape of his neck and Jensen officially gives up on trying not to get hard, moves on to just doing his best not to pop a knot against Jared’s thigh. The shit Jared does to his biology is fucking insane.

He sounds like he's been swallowing swords, so turned on his airways are trying to close up as if he’s having a goddamn allergic reaction to all the want. “I think a relationship's about a lot more than that.”

Jared moves his head, could be a nod, but then he hesitates, hitched breath right there in Jensen's ear like he's got money riding on whether or not he can make Jensen whimper. And then his mouth is right there, hot and dry, pursed up so adorably clueless that it finally knocks that sound right out of Jensen.

There is no manly description for the way he shivers all the way down to his toes and tips his head up - _up!_ There's a new experience - until the angle works to really get his mouth flush against Jared's, coax him, _teach_ him how to do it right.

He takes it like a dream, too, because Jensen needed one more thing about him to fall for like a lead brick. Lets his lips go slack when Jensen rubs his softly against them, wet, tender insides catching at each other. Makes the prettiest noise when Jensen inches his tongue in just enough to flick at the hard line of his teeth, cold-hot rush of air as Jared gasps and loses it all again on a groan.

Tentative fingers feather at his jaw like Jared honestly expects him to push them away or thinks there is anything Jensen wouldn't let him do. Once they settle there, thought, they cup so gentle against the bone, tips rasping against stubble like braille, like he has to map Jensen out by feel.

Whatever instincts Jared has are slowly kicking in, mouth moving in counterpoint to Jensen's, these delicate kitten licks at the sides of his tongue that are sucking all the air right out of the room.

Jensen's not used to taking anybody else's lead - everybody he's ever been with has expected, wanted, him to be the one in charge - but he fights down that alpha growling at the back of his mind and goes with it when Jared pushes him to tilt his head a little more and open a little wider.

It's a little bit vindicating that it's Jared making the embarrassingly girly whine when they break apart.

“I've never done that before.” He's panting against Jensen's lips, foreheads pressed together, hanging on hard enough Jensen's betting he'll be able to play connect the dots with Jared's fingerprints on his back.

He grins, “You're a natural,” aiming for teasing and ending up face-down in a pile of honest. It makes Jared smile in return, swallow roughly, dive right back in again.

How they end up backed up against the wall, Jensen has no clue. Honestly, he can't even say for sure that it's a wall and not the floor or the ceiling or an impressively sturdy patch of air. His center of gravity is all fucked, mainly because it's decided to locate itself between Jared's hips, bumping roughly up against him and at this moment he can't remember why he'd ever wanted it to be anywhere else.

Jensen's never been particularly hung up on being the he-man macho-dude in bed, but he is an alpha and there are certain personality quirks that come with the territory. He'd never spent much time considering it from the other side, the appeal of having someone bigger - a tall order all by itself - and stronger manhandling him around, taking what they want. And there's a part of him that' getting all kinds of pissy about it, wants to buck Jared off and flip them around, get him face first against the wall and show him who's boss. There are several other parts that are busy knocking that part out and locking it in a closet somewhere so Jensen just grabs on to the tight globes of Jared’s ass and pulls him in tighter. Tries not to go off like a shot when his fingers find the back of Jared’s pants damp with slick.

Jared's shaking so hard Jensen's not sure how he's still standing but he's not easing off. The hot musk of beta slick and the sting of an alpha both mixed up in Jensen's nostrils is nothing he'd have ever thought would get him hard but he feels like he could come just _breathing_ close to Jared right now. He's huge and everywhere, surrounding Jensen, pressing him back against the wall, pulling and jostling until Jensen's feet loose contact with the floor. It only lasts a second, but it's there, Jared _picked him up_ and it is, without a doubt, the single most stunning thing that has ever happened to Jensen during not-really-sex.

“We should stop,” is also, without a doubt, the single most painful thing Jensen's ever had to say. But he's better than this, fast and rushed, using Jared in a frenzy like some bad romance novel. Jensen's a good guy, damnit, he'd held off all during Jared's heat even though it was like pulling out his own fingernails out with rusty pliers and he's not going to blow that being a horn-dog now.

Only, apparently, Jared did not get that memo.

“Taste so good, Jensen," is what Jensen thinks he says. Jared's still primarily licking at Jensen's chin and may have included a couple of letters in there that don't have a place in the English language, but Jensen's pretty sure that's what it was. "You taste so good.”

His “Fuck,” get muffled around the hungry shove of Jared's tongue back into his mouth, salty with his own sweat. Ok, so much for being the good guy. He could maybe still pull off not being a complete advantage-taking pervert though if Jared would quit trying to hitch his leg up around Jensen's hip.

“Can I touch you? Is that ok?" Jared kind of sort of manages to pull back enough this time that the question comes out as real words. His hand pawing its way down Jensen's chest to twitch needily at his hip would get the message across anyway. Jensen manfully restrains himself from laughing in Jared's face.

“I'm gonna come in like four seconds, but yeah, go for it.”

Apparently Jared doesn't need to be told twice. His hand is clumsy, shoved too hard against Jensen where he doesn't stop trying to hump Jensen's cock at the same time he's feeling it up. And Jensen takes back what he thought earlier - he is officially swearing off pants forever because somehow every fucking time any opportunity presents itself with Jared he is stuck in goddamn jeans and it's so unfair he thinks he might cry like a small child.

Or maybe that's just the orgasm that jolts its way up his spine and fries his brain stem.

He notices the pressure of Jared rutting up against him harder mainly because it goes from difficult to impossible to breathe. It isn't even really a thought when he really starts groping Jared's ass, cotton sticking wetly to hot skin from Jared's slick. Nothing but drive when he feels out the cleft through the thin barrier of fabric and presses, feels the heat and wetness deepen as the tip of his finger presses inside. That's all it takes to make Jared lock up and keen, clinging heat oozing over Jensen's fingers and pulsing against the front of his jeans.

Seriously, fuck pants.

Jensen's not really paying attention to much of anything besides the tingle of bliss in his blood and the filthy-hot smell of him and Jared mingled together into one scent that keeps that feeling simmering right there close to the surface. He's got enough of an ear out to absorb those gorgeous, slightly hurt sounds Jared makes when he keeps grinding against Jensen long after he's done coming, like he just can't help himself, and enough sense to run his fingers over the back of Jared's neck, trying to ease him down, but that's about it. Completely misses the fact that his own mouth his moving until Jared lifts his head off of Jensen's shoulder to stare at his lips with these beautiful, blown, hazy eyes.

There's even less coordination to it when Jared leans in this time and takes Jensen's mouth in a kiss than there was the first go around. Now it has the easy lassitude that's born of coming so hard you see stars, though, so Jensen just takes it as a compliment.

“Say it again.” Jared exhales it into Jensen's mouth, their lips sticking together when he doesn't get around to moving any further away. It's a good enough sign that Jensen didn't just royally screw this up, so he murmurs it out again against Jared's skin.

“I love you.”

There are any number of things he should add to that. How he knows it's too soon and Jared isn't ready for it, that he certainly doesn't expect to hear it back. That it's not him trying to pressure or move them too fast, just that he's been feeling it for close to year now and if he didn't let it out is was going to back up in his throat and strangle him. That no matter what happens from here, it's not going to stop being true.

But he's pretty sure from the soft curl of Jared's mouth that they're reading each other loud and clear. Possibly for the first time ever.

So all he says as he lets his hands glide up and down the slope of Jared's back and dig at the knots of muscle that are going to take more than a little stress release to work out is, “Come on, baby. I've got some boxers you can sleep in.”


End file.
